The wise man fears, but does not allow that fear to master him, does not allow the ingrained habits of the mind to mold his body into a sculpture of living torment, does not allow fear to shape his thoughts into prevarications leading blindly into despair; an utter absence –abnegation- of light, as a terrible darkness descends to fog the heart in a formless blanket of misery, the shadows bleeding forth tendrils of night, infecting the day with an aphotic darkness… a Cimmerian landscape of unassailable desolation, a mortally dark injury to the soul, torn and open -laceration of pathos- wound raggedly pulsing, bleeding anguished clouds of blood across the night black indifference of the sky… the wise man does not inhale, but exhales in a searing gasp of pain all his trepidation, concerns and pressures, like smoke to disperse upon the bruised air of…
*****
Memories, like
still waters they lie seductively deep, occluding my mind with the shadows of
thoughts which burns with a provocative tension, a spinning vortex; the
unrelieved reflection of oblivion… leaving me feeling lifeless and drained,
afflicted with a enervating lethargy of the soul, the eviscerating touch of
fear like torn tatters of cloth – emotions fluttering furtively in a futile
attempt not to be noticed, but to glide through life in haze of unformed
expectations… It’s a sort of death this, of writhing shadows, the alienation of
the self, a suicide of the spirit, ignorance standing tall and dark beneath the
unseeing eyes of stars which sparkle like frozen tears in the limitless expanse
of the sky above, by their feeble glow one can see the bruised skin of a body upon
which fate has taken its toll, fickle mistress; providence, who with a
festering smile of temptation seduces one into a gloaming eternity of loneliness,
a desolate awareness… an unfathomable silence filled with the crying souls of
memories, the choked dreams of a stillborn reality, it elicits a febrile
longing in the heart, the scent of beauty exhaled like smoke to disperse upon
the bruised air of the…
*****
*****
Heart… a sombre affair lacerated by the flagellant
whispers of a mind caught in the grip of nightmares... images half seen, flashes
and glimpses disappearing like shadows broken on the anvil of the rising sun,
of sadness and loss, and the greatest loss of all… that of love, a lonely flame
wailing silently against the throbbing pressures of the dark, a stooping bird
of prey graceful as the fall of night, hurtling down to smother with raven
wings of despair the fitful flicker of the heart, it flays the soul with beak
and talons of bleak sodden doom; a gloom-filled dirge of exhilaration, bloated moan an
anguished cry of pain winging forth like a startled flock of birds scattering
on the wind, it scores the mind with the sullen rage of memories, thoughts like
bloated spiders laying poisoned eggs of longing, fat with the virulent
intoxication of hopelessness, infected with the ugly -night-black blisters of
jaundiced faith- suppurating within the bitter wounds of the heart, sorrow an
infestation blanketing the soul, weeping tears of loneliness unto the silken
breast of the night as I lay engulfed... engulfed in a deafening deluge of
silence, reaching blindly forth for that which is lost… reaching forth for a sense
of completeness… of healing, sense of self stretched into an infinite moment of
pain, a feral existence of numb detachment seared with a burning brand of
despair, a sighing wave of nausea easing
like a knife through my ribs to caress my heart with the sharpened steel of trepidation,
for living… living is a deliberate process, a deliberate process of will, to
flee from the passage of days which stalks my steps with an implacable
determination, breath of intent filling the ponderous heart, gravid; blackened
with the tar of a mournful melancholy… like a lover holding me close, breath of her kiss exhaled like smoke to disperse upon the bruised air of my…
*****
Fears… It’s a primal
affectation this fear, a living creature of grasping claws and slavering
hunger, a lubricious embrace of the dark squeezing with a jagged blast of
terror, a silent whisper of exquisite dread caressing my soul, impregnating my
heart with a cruel brutality, the sharp taste of a bituminous power beyond all
reasoning… Yet for all the depths of gloom, for all the frightful tremors which
cascades through my heart like a waterfall of icy daggers raping my heart with
its jagged fear, it holds a touch of seduction as well, a profound revelation
held within the coalescing dream… the vision of my desires, the acuity of her
swaying hips a bruised sensuality of bludgeoned bliss, creeping strands of
rapacious lasciviousness webbing me within the heat of passions hold,
curvaceous form a benediction of grace, the sinuous lines of her beauty embracing
as tight as the coils of a serpent as I loose myself within the perfumed breast
of this libidinous promise; a sultry gift, voluptuous rise of the pregnant moon
to greet my lips – deceptively sweet the breathtaking innocence of her charms,
the veiled gaze of salacious hunger, the predatory half-smile which curves her
lips, eyes a smouldering brand of fire searing me to the soul… The night is
like a dark mistress of seduction, seducing, beguiling, caressing with a honeyed
tongue; trailing a path of sweetness upon my flesh, teasing…. stroking,
embracing me within the delicious warmth of her beauty, the kiss of her womb a
moist intoxication, sultry velvet sheath holding me immersed within the sensual rhythm of her body as I succumb, surrender; melt into the nuanced tones of
bliss she plays upon my heart… Perhaps that is the real torment of this
tortured despair which I feel wrapping me in a chill blanket of sophoric languor,
that by succumbing to the darkness, I indulge the provocative vice… the
evocative nature of my hidden fears, indulge my most licentious desires; the wanton
kiss of the womb-dark night, as addictive as the viscous syrup of the milk of
poppies, it rules my passions, compelling dreams of debauched lust -concupiscent- enticing; forbidden fruit,
ripe and succulent, swelling to fill the
yearnings of my heart, to fill my dreams... fingers of the mind gently parting
her flesh, the tongue of my desire licking with increasing hunger the sweet
juices which explodes with narcotic
intoxication upon the taste buds of my soul ; lustrous delectation the taste of
her upon my lips, as I inhale, filling my lungs with the delectable bouquet of
the sultry night, the alluring perfume which grace her breast, exhaled like
smoke to disperse upon the bruised air of my…
*****
Desires… The swelling tumescence of my appetites
unfettered, consuming all before it like a firestorm burning with the aching
pain of need, pressing in from all sides it obliverates my safe haven, the halo
of will preserved deep in the darkest recessed of my soul, pulsing like the
rhythmic wash of the sea, the tide ebbing … always ebbing, as if to the erratic
beat of my heart, a heart swollen with a storm of grief ; narcotizing waves of
anguish leaving me forsaken, thoughts flown like chaff in the wind, all that’s
left to me is the bitter ashes of hunger
and the debilitating agony of inclement lust, an unstoppable momentum, inertia
set in motion, caught by a powerful riptide of darkness and flung into the
boiling maelstrom of a bottomless ocean, trapped by currents of debauched
decadence, broken upon waves of salacious intent, drowning beneath the chill
waters of a voracious lassitude, sinking into the gloom-filled depths of a
blistered consciousness, of blackness; the dark pull of thoughts inhaled
through the nostrils, splashing unto the throat to choke the silent plea of the
heart, filling me until I become one with it, a lurid creature of calignosity,
soul warped by hammering waves of memories which sweeps me further and further
into the nights womb-like embrace, collapsing in small incremental moments of
intense pain, into an engorged necrosis which robs me of all volition as it
binds my will in unyielding bands of –blood-steel, incarnadined froth of
profligate sensuality occluding my senses with a throbbing urge… a haunted yearning
of ecstasy flooding through my blood, an eternity caught within a single breath…
to luxuriate in… absorbs with a devouring desire, the saccharine welcome of
silken flesh, like a rose; petals unfolding to greet the thrusting presence of –my-
dark, brooding regard… Passion a shiver of delight licking at my bones, desire resonating
with the explosive force of a thunderstorm, tempest driven ardour inhaled upon
the profligate mastery of a kiss, tumescence throbbing as I enter her with an
exactingly excruciating slowness, moving with a marvel of grace as I slip
inside the reliquary of her pleasure, thrusting deep filling her with the seeds
of my hunger, riding the rampant emotions of my fears in the vain hope that I
will find absolution… Entombed within the bower of my own failings there is a feeling
as if I’m floating, an incorporeal phantasm of the body, a spirit untethered
from the soul, the physical world a haze of fog blown away on the fetid breath
of my despair, where the only things which exist is fear and desire, the
conscience making no distinction between the two as they weave a potent pattern
of rapacious virulence within my heart, sniping at the mind with shaped charges
of debauched dreams , eviscerating my soul with a sword of hedonistic lust, the
naked night holding a stilled breath of anticipation like an aroused lover eager
to be filled with the seeds of my passion, for I have given in to the
inevitable, found a measure of peace in the unrelieved darkness setting like
the dying light of an overcast day, given in to the temptation of the
provocative dusk; deep, rich and alluring as the voice of memories sounding
within my ear, memories sharp as a knife, cutting like the whisper of the north
wind holding the jagged edge of winters chill, a howling gale of enervating languor
battering my soul, thoughts like cast spears… razor tips piercing my mind,
letting in a flowing numbness, a suppurating river of darkness slowly spreading
to shroud my awareness in a pooling miasma of pain, and within the threshold of
my pain… of my fears, I come to realize that darkness yet is a gift of the
light… and I surrender totally to the night, dark with a delicious desire which
tempts my soul, a formless dance of fears chained to memories which within
dreams are made flesh, where the first step is a searing pirouette of grace
birthed within the mind; thoughts given form… the second step a sweeping caress
of passion burgeoning through the heart, heavy with the sinuous movement of sensuousity;
the caress of a seductive embrace leading to the third step… a sharp tingle of
pleasure coursing through me, the sultry breath of a kiss leaving me dazed upon
a licentious aria of lush arousal, where dreams become reality and memories are
but the fuel which feeds the fire of my needs… And I feel it, feel the coiled
spring of anticipation thrumming through my veins, a torrid wave of sexual
energy; the tense hunger of desire throbbing… eagerly thrusting with dark
rectitude… eager to touch… eager to taste of her swollen –silken- lips, sudden
flare; splash of moonlight like an ejaculate of the night pooling upon the
sheen of sweat oiling our merged -merging- flesh, divine… the set of her lips,
the smooth enchanting velvet feel of her body, an endless moment frozen in my
mind, seen again and again through the window of my soul; a dream conjured by
my endless longing, of interlocked limbs straining against each other in an
intricate dance of copulation, gasping breath inhaled in a rising fervour of
lust, exhaled upon a breasting wave of pleasure… like smoke to disperse upon
the bruised air of my…
*****
Conscience… A
woven cord of silk wound around my neck, a haunting melody; mournful howl cast
upon the air like a dirge to be carried by the wind, blown by the scouring
sands of torment into the echoing sorrows of the soul, to fill this vast
silence which beggars the night, a silence made up of a vast and terrible fear,
a pleading ache of longing which floods the air with a palpable tension,
knowing in my heart that my dreams are as dust in the wind, for the fear which
binds me is greater than my need, better if the love I feel stay buried, still…
perhaps better if it had never been, for love is a weakness, upon dying it
turns to hate, or worse; it is resurrected as a rage which cannot be stopped,
turned in upon itself, it becomes savage, a flame which flares into the
consuming roar of a conflagration, a raging inferno decimating all before it,
where compassion becomes a bottomless hole of darkness, a loathing envy of all
that is lost feeding the odium appetites of encroaching nightmares ensconced within the
heart, a storm of darkness; thunderous glare of a midnight tide totally
eclipsing all light within the soul, rising and falling… weaving a calignous
spell of rage onto the spirit, leaving anger like ruin to run like blood
through the veins, and loss like sweat to leak from the pores of the body in
rank stink of fear, where revenants of lust, of desire born of the bitter taste
of desperation catches at me with implacable talons of dread, the sharp tangential
caress of the dark a bruising contact of certitude and self-delusion, an
embrace of bitter bliss and the sweet coppery taste of aching misery, revenants
of detached eroticism poisoned indifference infecting my thoughts, creeping
through my mind with the sinuous ease of a panther stalking its prey, fangs
bared to savage the throat in a debauched glory of decadent gore, poised to
rend and tear the flesh in a frenzy of wanton rage, rage distilled of all
reason, pure… unsullied by the detritus of clinging emotions, a dark bruise
pulsing with the hauteur of memories which abrade my dreams with the caustic
bite of night -fears- mares, revenants possessing me; holding me the heated thrall
of emotional bondage as they caress my awareness with a rabid and malicious
touch, my blood heated beginning to rise, to embrace this sinister beauty -dark
flower- enchanted by the whispered caress of a dark seduction, provocative it
hides within the heartbeat of my own fears, massaging my conscience with hands
of fire until my thoughts are crisped to ashes which scatter on the faintest
breath of the wind, yet still she appears… lush and full-figured, blossoming
upon the field of my despair, a noose of silk ever tightening, shooting a
thrill of ecstasy through my body, appealing with the saporous taste of
dauntless intemperance it stirs the lifeblood of my ardour, sets it flowing in
a crimson river of sanguine imminence, the lethal menace of a sybarites hunger,
the steely-eyed glint of an all-encompassing passion, aphotic desires of a Cimmerian
night… it is both terrible and wonderful, an erotic torment of lubricious
dread, it impales me to the core of my soul, impregnates me with a vast reservoir
of power; invasively sweet, dark with a luscious malignancy slicing into the
secret recesses of my heart, body responding to this epicurean urge, growing
sensitized to the sultry ecstasies of the night, tumescent arousal hard with the hedonistic flush of orgiastic pleasure, luxuriating in the carnal release… the
libidinous flavour… the narcotic taste… desiderate manifestation of a dream
slowly rising from the stormy depths of my sub consciousness, the ghost of
memories laying siege to my heart… And the noose snaps taut, silken weave tight
upon the throat of my thoughts, strangling with brutal efficiency the last
vestiges of effervescent wonder… of love… the burden of my heart, leaving
behind an unassailable hunger; vibrant intoxication, the exultant triumph of my
arousal throbbing in blissful agony, stroked by the velvet lips of the night,
pulsing in naked supplication, sheathed firmly within the womb of my desire…
dark need, thoughts mired in a haze of wanton licentiousness, longing casting a
spell of possession upon my soul, for all are at the mercy of that which lies
in the -dark- silent oasis of the mind, a lascivious devourer lying in wait… an
invisible trap stealthily set to ambush my thoughts, ambush by heart laying
waste to my soul as it fills my dreams with nectarious fantasies of lust, the
raw beauty of the embrace of shadows, an ardurous boil of emotions broken like
a virgins hymen upon the maelstrom of my arousal leaving me bereft, emotionally
crippled but for the animal pleasures of the flesh, a lasciviously devouring
fire with a salacious appetites for
exquisite ecstasies, the mind a susceptible riot of inveterate thoughts as I
succumb and lose myself to the allure of the night… sweet musk inhaled, then
exhaled like smoke to disperse upon the bruised air of my…
Fears!!!!
Richard ‘Poetikz’
Burton
11/26/2012
