Listen closely, for this is how it begins,
As despair carves the soul like a knife cuts the skin,
Bitter tears flow like blood, yes I'm cut to the quick,
Heartsore in sorrow, body weary and sick,
Despair bubbles through me, though laughter flies from my lips,
Tainted with darkness, flaying my mind like a whip,
Of happiness, vanished like water on desert sand,
And friendships, I can count them on the fingers of a closed hand,
Eyes shining, not with life, but with the image of death,
Is this all that's left to me, till I draw my last breath?
So let me parse the four demons which hold me in chains,
Delve deep and perhaps find surcease from this weeping pain,
Sun-touched as raindrops, tears falling to the sea,
Crack open the dark chysalid, and inside you'll find me.
Now Grandiosity; is the Armour behind which hides feelings of fear,
Residual shock of the mind, tainting all we hold dear.
Perfectionism; is my Sheild, an ideal measure one can never attain,
And so forever lost we wander, crying out in lost and pain.
Wishful Thinking; is the Sword that justifies what we do is right,
Lost in the darkness never venturing into the pure rays of the light.
Anger; is the sheen on my armour,
Buffed and polished until it shines...
The crutch for my shield,
Irridescent shadows,occluding the mind...
And gives the sharp edge to my sword,
Sundering all, yet leaving the bitterness behind...
For Anger is my first love, a wall which rings my soul,
Thick walls which gives security and a sense of being in control,
Surrending not, for anger is my sword, my shield, my armour,
Protecting me yes, but hiding all the pain and doubts I harbour,
Dark cavern, a yawning chasm, keeping all bottled up inside,
Twisted shadows like blood-tipped thorns, the light of truth it can't abide,
But what is truth, but perception thinly vieled by space and time,
And belief the guiding force which leads to faith, manifest devine,
But can faith halt the waterfall of my tears?
Like diamonds against the velvet darkness of my fears.
Like shades of the dead, it haunts my sleep at night,
So sleepless I lay wracked by doubts, of fears shackled tight,
Out of place, out of time, memories crippled, walking blind,
Swirling mist hides the path in the labyrinth of my mind.
So I surrender, though doubts hold me locked in place,
For there's not harmony without tribulation, so through pain, I seek grace,
So in nights embrace I drift into the healing folds of sleep,
Hoping against hope for the encroaching lassitude of numb release,
But alas the night has ended, but no sleep at all for me,
No pleasant dreams of comfort, only haunted memories,
No stars to light the night sky, no moon at all I see,
Just clouds within the gloaming, mirroring my thoughts so perfectly,
Still yet I try to give thanks, for at least I'll greet the dawn,
Take heart from the rising darkness, find the strength to carry on,
Is this what it is to have faith, is this what it is to hope?
Is this what it means to believe in self, empowerment, so midst life one can cope?
The sword becomes my faith, and my strength my bond and shield,
My armour, the light of belief to help my soul to begin to heal.
Now as sands through the hourglass, so flows a day in the life,
A day filled with hardships, struggles and strife,
Of dreams come realities, perceptions made real,
But beware of false friends lying with daggers concealed,
Of lies and false promises and what they construe,
Of light shade to darkness what lay hidden from view,
Find the wellspring within to strengthen the way,
And the armour of fortitude, to keep negativity at bay,
For dreams are like pathways, which one to follow,
Realities bent, some find hard to swallow,
So as the day slowly age, and the hourglass flows,
Revel in life mysteries and allow your conscience to grow,
So here I sit, pondering as the day begins to wake,
Reflecting on the past, and what road the future will take.
Thinking how bitter the taste of self-loathing and hate,
Awash like bracken on the ghostly sea of fate,
Blindly seeking to pierce the misty fog of shadows blight,
To open my eyes to the darkness and so see my way towards the light,
To open my eyes and see beyond doubts and fears,
Follow the path of a healed soul til my vision grows clear,
Let the wind of my conscience blow this fell mist away,
Set foot on the road, pass from the dark of the night to the brightness of day,
Beloved of the darness, yet blessed by the light,
The shadows which cloak me, need not impair my sight,
Embrace it, move forward, casting all doubts aside,
Seek the heart of true silence and make her my bride,
For silence is golden; bold words, but also a sign,
That the stillness which lies within, I shall search for and find.
An inward searching of the soul, following the dark flight of the heart,
And a mind though painted in shadows, seeks the healing that belief has wrought,
So the sheen of my Armour becomes a testament to faith,
Buffed and polished until it shines...
Faith becomes the tensile strength of my Shield,
Golden shadows, lighting the byways of the mind...
And gives the sharp edge to my Sword,
In faith I walk, leaving all negativity behind.
For Grandiosity no longer hold me chained to my fears,
Of Perfectionism; the doubts and fears I harbour, ever so slowly disappears...
Wishful Thinking, fades, no longer breeding strife,
And Anger though still present, no longer has the power to control my life,
So come what may, I surrender to the healing hands of fate,
Forever seeking, hoping not to find that grace of harmony has come too late.
FAITH......
Is a living breathing creature, that insppite of hardhsips, loss and pain... lives.
It gives directiona nd with proper care will succor you from pain. It's a wish for
the future and a balm for the past. It insulates, inspires and lifts one up; springing
from within, yet fed from without... Faith like love, it springs eternal!!!
Richard 'Poetikz' Burton
12/06/2009
