TANG OF GRIEF!!!

AND so it begins...

The search for a path whereby I can elude this tainted river of love,

A benighted landscape of destitute longing,

The decrepit bones of lust cracked within the iron hand of indifference,

to let leak the noisome stench of decayed marrow

   -gangrene of the spirit which has imprisoned me in the blighted land of my dreams-

I seek to escape from this sorrowing river of grief which flows like a tribulation of blood,

Baptizing my soul in a voiceless cry of misery; a lamentation of the soul,

With the cloying taste of despair…

Bitter is the touch of self-condemnation,

To be tossed within the suffering torment of hell,

Scoured by the fiery whip of a dark caliginous desire,

Throbbing and seething to the arrhythmic beat of an unhealthy yet insatiable passion,

Acrid; virulent as forest rue marinated within the stagnant waters of decayed bracken,

A foetid taste of noxious perversion pooling upon the tongue of my devotion,

Slippery with the reek of degradation it twists and slides,

Falling into the throat of my hunger,

Only to rise again upon the swollen member of my arousal,

like a bilious cloud of smoke boiling into the night sky,

A black haze which grips my chest with jagged claws of emptiness and desolation,

Cutting my breath into ragged gasps of pain,

Leaving my head dizzy with want,

With the feral taste of longing calving a torture pit of agony,

to trickle like hot oil into my soul,

Burning a remorseless path of destruction to consume my heart

… in a raging storm of fire

... a raging fire of despair!

How then to escape from this abattoir of madness,

Escape from the eldritch grip of this abusive malaise,

A spall of darkness rising on a keening note of loss,

to cast the dawn into a painted reflection of the night;

raven wings unfolding from the heart of the soul,

A dance of shadows…

A fount of tears-

Bitter the taste flowing through me in a scouring torrent of abnegation…

Beggaring my heart and becoming a thief of my thoughts,

A thief of my laughter,

A thief of joy,

Of pleasure, subsumed by tortured faith leading to the ashes of despair,

Slipping over the soul like a fell mist of forlornness,

to soak the heart in the liquid essence of desolation,

A spiralling black hole slicked with the effulgia of a stark silence so deep,

It breaks the heart,

Leaves it empty, home to the hauntings of anguish and fears,

Home to the ghost of feelings now stone dead yet resonating within the soul,

Gravitating as shadowed lines etched deep upon the forehead,

As dark circles laid under bruised and wearied -dull- eyes,

The grimace of lips turned down in misery,

A debilitating tension running through the body,

leaving one drained and perpetually weak,

Exhausted in spirit as in the soul,

Essence of despair a brackish taste upon the air,

A sour musk of cloying odours,

The bitter bile of pungent offal,

The heart twisted by an exquisite suffering from which there is no escape….

Sensations…

Tumultuous…

Emotions searing the soul like a braided whip of fire,

An agonizing conflagration of pain erupting from the heart,

Mouth opened wide upon a scream, but met with a dark wall of silence,

Weeping tears long gone but for the bitterness of grief,

The torment of pain; an ineffable revelation,

A swirling tidal flow which batters at the shadowed corners of the eyes,

Staggered by the screaming breath of livid darkness,

A living obfuscation awakening at the tragic loss of love,

The bruised suffering of a heart savaged by a brace of flaming arrows,

Burning a path of dissolution within my soul,

Heart unravelling in an endless spasm of fear,

A raging bonfire of dark despair, continually feeding upon -devouring- itself…

Harrowed to the depths of my soul,

Heart a beat of sorrow weeping within my breast,

Eyes shadowed by loss,

Spirit a coil of darkness unravelling in the night...

How does one measure loss except by absences,

The absence of your warmth by my side where now I feel the cold touch of misery,

The bright laughter of your eyes; jewels glimmering within my heart,

The absence of your touch, travelling my body with soft kisses of delight,

The sun of my world; your absence is like the sucking pull of a black hole,

leaving nothing but wrack and ruin within my heart,

No wind playfully caressing your hair as we lay in each other’s embrace,

No voice to colour the air with the rich seductive tones of your laughter,

No birdsong to greet the rising of the dawn,

Nothing to be seen,

Nothing to be felt,

Only the fading breath of your perfume like a song,

Descant; spiralling down, eliciting painful memories of what was,

But now is no more...

How does one measure loss except by absences,

An absence that leaves only silence,

A silence so deep; so vapid,

It is like an unvoiced cry of darkness punctuating the night,

A howl of pure madness driven by a soul broken on the anvil of your heart,

The blossoming of a black rose,

Petals a spiral of hunger sucking in even the faintest touch of light…

Absence…

A profound indulgence of yearnings standing at the apex between darkness and light,

A mosaic of emptiness; vessel of vacuity,

Primal…

The echoing ache of hunger tightening the chest,

Lambent spark of eviscerating flame flaring into a searing fire of pain,

The fading cry of loss born on the wind,

A dance of shadow… illuminating sheen of darkness,

Falling like a moonlit kiss of glistening tears,

A cascading waterfall of grief running down my cheeks,

Like an embrace never given,

A chance stillborn in sorrow,

A path never taken,

Is a soul burdened by doubts,

A troubled heart slipping floating by on an uncaring river of indifference,

Untouched but for the self –flagellant whip of guilt,

The scarred bones of a love never embraced

laying buried deep in the decrepit graveyard of the heart,

No gentle warmth; soft wind of a caress to stir the stagnant air of the soul,

No awakening; blossoming glow of colours to brighten the foetid growth of the spirit,

Only a deadened dawn,

Leached -washed- of all light…

Absences which wounds the soul with a tyranny of darkness,

A dismal breath of pain; gloaming sigh threaded on the dark winds of apathy,

Heart heavy with sorrows; misery sinking into the aphotic horrors of the abyss,

Fear-stricken…

Left destitute by loss…

Unshriven; love left to fester in a nightmare dreamscape of dissolution, oblivion

Dwindling away until nothing is left but memories,

Memories…

The lithe grace, as you walk like an unfolding dream into my heart,

An angel embracing me in fiery wings of light…

Memories…

Your exotic beauty caressing me with libidinous fingers of delicious pleasure,

Energizing my flesh with the exquisite rapture of your touch…

Memories…

The delicate flower of our love,

beautiful petals glistening brightly under the light of our desires…

Dead…

Gone now, and

all but forgotten,

All that remains is this shaft of darkness sunk deep into my soul,

A stagnant well of pain lacerating my heart with the acidic tang of grief,

Under the excruciating weight of this… my sorrows,

I sink into this waking death,

Eyes closed to this unbearable loss,

Heart a burnt husk -lifeless- within my breast!!!

Richard ‘Poetikz’ Burton

07/29/2012